Sometimes OK is enough

I have had one of those mornings. You know the ones. The ones where nothing really goes wrong but nothing really goes right either. I even got up early to make the rush of the morning less stressful, to make more time to get more things done.

I’ve started doing supply teaching this year and I’ve been getting quite a bit of work. I’m thoroughly enjoying being back in the classroom. I like the interaction with the kids. I enjoy teaching and helping and I just enjoy a lunch time where I don’t have to listen to kids arguing or demanding vegemite not peanut butter. I like that I get to go to the toilet when I need to and not when it fits around my two kids who are at home during the day. I like the adult conversation at lunch time.

Monday I worked so I started the week a little behind schedule and that has had a knock on effect to the rest of the household. Hollie had a break down or two about stuffing up her viola playing and then about not getting her story draft written to a standard she thought acceptable. I had not made it a priority to sit down with her and help her with these to issues over the past few days as my priorities were elsewhere. Note that I didn’t say I don’t have time because clearly I do have time if I choose not to do something else. Everyone has time. I’m a mother of 5. I know about having time and commitments. I really felt like I had let Hollie down even though I know it is her responsibility to get these jobs done before today. Hollie went to school upset. I went on with my day upset.

Kevin was throwing a tantrum because I’d opened the can of dog food for him. He didn’t want to go to school because we’d upset him. On the way to school his shoe fell off and the tantrum started again. I didn’t have the patience for him. Again, I felt like I’d let him down.

As we were leaving for school Lisa couldn’t find her shoes. These were left in Daddy’s car yesterday when he picked up Lisa from kindy as I was at an appointment. This was a small issue but turned into a big one because she cried and I didn’t have the patience to deal with the tantrum because we were already running late to buy a new school uniform and take Hannah to the library at school so I told Lisa to get into the pram. Yes, a four year old in a pram! Our rule is you aren’t allowed to go to school with no shoes on. The librarian made Lisa cry when she made comment about Lisa’s lack of shoes because she knows our rules too. If only I’d taken the time to let her find new shoes this wouldn’t have happened. Again, I felt like I’d let her down.

After buying the uniforms and taking Hannah to the library to borrow a book I went to her classroom to see if the teacher wanted help with changing the readers because they weren’t done yesterday.  This is usually my job in Hannah’s class because no other parent does it. Yesterday I didn’t do it partly because I had to drop Hollie at her first day of the maths/science academy she was accepted into and then dropped Lisa and a friend’s daughter at kindy and partly because I was still trying to catch up on house work from being at work on Monday and I had a group of ladies coming over at 10am. I know I shouldn’t feel guilty about not changing the readers but I can’t help it. I love seeing kids learning. I love books and know how important reading is. I also know that essentially this is the actual teacher’s job but I also know it takes at least half an hour to do and I don’t know where she is going to find that time. This time not only did I feel as though I’d let Hannah down but her whole class and her teacher as well.


I know all of this is not really anything but I feel like I’m not doing anything well at the moment. I feel like I’m merely doing life OK. I’m not doing it better than OK. I’m stretched thin in all directions. When I got to playgroup all tired and worn out I just cried. I didn’t want to cry in front of my friends but I just felt like I was doing a terrible job of everything. After a hug from my friend I felt a lot better though. We are all Mums and we all have bad days/bad weeks. When I got home I text my husband and told him I needed a hug. When I told him what the matter was (that I felt like I was doing life OK not great. I wasn’t being a great Mum I was being an OK Mum. I wasn’t being a great housewife I was being on OK one. I wasn’t being a great worker I was being an OK one) he told me being OK is OK. That’s why it’s called OK. He made me laugh and I know he is right. I can’t be amazing all the time. Sometimes OK is enough. Tomorrow will be a better day. I hope.

Exercise that body

As promised I have actually taken photos of my body, clothed, to hopefully document the HUGE changes which are about to occur. The photos don't actually look that bad. I think the tight clothing hides a great deal. You know that post baby belly with it's wrinkled, stretched marked skins and the fatty saggy bits. Who said motherhood wasn't glamorous? Glamorous.  I wear my marks with pride because I know without them I wouldn’t have what I have and I wouldn’t give it up for the world. I am so grateful for what I have and even if that means I’m not able to reach my goal of 10kms by my birthday, mid January, then I’m ok with that too. I think it is better to have a goal than to plod along and hope everything will be ok and work itself out.

Here are the photos. I know it will take at least 3 months to notice a significant difference in photos. Possibly in real life you may be able to notice a difference. I can usually tell when I start to decrease the size of my double chin. I’m hoping I notice my arms beginning to strengthen too. I’m aiming to be able to do a 200m medley by January. At the moment I’m doing only 100m with flippers because I’m too much of a chicken to try one without. I also know that my backstroke doesn’t hold up. I'd just like to thank Hollie for taking the photos this morning. 

Two goals and just under three months. Let’s see what I can do.

On a family note, my sister in law gave my mother in law a large canvas photo of their first born at approx 6 weeks old. Kevin and I decided it would be nice if she could hang all the kids together so we made up canvases of the kids at approx 6 weeks old too. We have been trying since Kevin Joshua was 5 weeks old to get a photo of him smiling. We have managed to capture a few blurred ones on our phones but nothing we could print. Every time we bring out the camera he stops smiling even with tickles. Over the last 3 weeks we have taken 100s of photos trying to get a good print. He always turns away from the camera. Is this a sign of things to come? I’m going to post some of those attempts at smiling shots.

The holidays

Yay. It's the holidays now. It felt so good to only have to drop Jessica to kindy today. The state school had a student free day. The girls and I walked to kindy, we gave a train demonstration (the kids had been interested in trains and I offered to bring in some of Kevin's trains to show them. We played trains for about half and hour.), spent time with the girls at home doing puzzles, colouring in and playing dolls. It was a great way to start the holidays. Now if only Lisa would sleep through tonight I might be able to feel normal in the morning.

Here are a few photos of our week.

We went to the RM William's Muster on Sunday. Instead of watching the crazy men and women ride horses, Jessica and Hannah dug in the dirt.

After a terrible night awake with Lisa I found her like this under the coffee table. No wonder she was awake most of the night. Anyone want a kiss? I certainly didn't. She is such a mobile baby at the moment. I don't think it will be long before she crawls. There is a lot of scooting backwards which is why she was under the coffee table and a lot of rocking on all fours. She's cute just not in this picture.

Hollie's class had a picnic in the park with the other classes with year 1 students in it. They modeled their costumes and then had a variety of games. I love the look on Hollie's face here. It made me want to jump in a sack and have a race too.

After nights and nights of not sleep I thought I would give Lisa a formula bottle. I thought, like with the other 3, my milk was drying up or wasn't enough for her. She didn't sleep through so no more formula just yet. I look reasonable happy about it but I was crying on the inside. All I could think was, "If she's my last baby, it's too soon."

I think Daddy's going to have to buy a gun. They are just so beautiful. Daddy took these just before dinner yesterday. Hollie looks so tired but still so beautiful. Not that I'm biased or anything.

Hollie is such a helpful (most of the time) big sister. She cut up kiwi fruit for Hannah and herself and they enjoyed it on the veranda. I love the way she takes responsibility for her sisters and is usually willing to help them. You're growing up too fast missy. 

Birthday girl

 Hollie turned 5 on Wednesday. I still can't believe she is five. I know all mothers say it but where has all the time gone?
We had a very relaxing day. The kids didn't even wake us up for presents. They watched Mary Poppins instead. Such a treat to be able to watch tv hey?

Our family routine for birthdays is presents in our bed. A kiss from Jessica with her present for Hollie. A kiss from Hannah with her present.

Hollie's favourite present was the colouring/craft set we gave her. She spent most of her birthday colouring in.

Gran and Grandpuff arrived with more presents. One from them and one from Great Granny Weymouth.

We had Hollie's cake for morning tea along with a little party food. Hollie and I had made the cake the day before and Hollie decorated it.

In the afternoon it was off to one of her school friend's birthday party. Hamish is born on the same day but he is a year older. He even gave Hollie a present and she was lucky enough to win a game of freeze and received a prize of crayons and a colouring in book. Perfect. They sent her home with party bags for all the girls. This is the dress she wore to the party. It was a gift from Hannah.

The week before at school we took these cakes for Hamish and Hollie to celebrate with their friends. They will always have their birthdays in the holidays so we thought it was a good idea to allow them to celebrate with their friends at school. Miss O thought so too.