Wednesday, 15 June 2011

Jessica's last few days

On Monday we had a bit of a terrible day with Jessica. It was the Queen's Birthday long weekend here so Kevin was home to make the girls' breakfasts. As a treat on the weekend Kevin will colour the porridge for the girls. He grabbed a different container of food dye on Monday. We paid for it later in the afternoon.

Jessica as a 20 month old had a reaction to strawberry milks and on Monday we had a repeat of those reactions. Our poor little girl was possessed. That's what it seemed like. She was crying uncontrollably, rubbing her feet together, hitting the ground, screaming, kicking the floor. This went on for almost 3 hours in total. This is totally unlike Jessica. I was so distressed. My heart was aching. What it is about being a Mum that you just can't turn off, that you feel that pain? I was on the verge of tears. I couldn't take it anymore. Kevin went to the pantry and looked at the ingredients in the two different food colouring containers. We will be steering clear of colouring 122 from now on. Kevin threw the contents down the sink. Meanwhile Jessica had fallen asleep in the position below, just like the last time she had this reaction. My poor, poor little girl.

Sometimes motherhood can be so challenging. What am I talking about? It is ALWAYS challenging. Challenging but also the most rewarding and meaningful thing I'll ever do. How wonderful is Jessica? This morning when I said I needed to vacuum the floor - with my silly, dodgy, still unfixed vacuum cleaner- I asked Jessica and Hannah to clean the lounge room floor. Jessica worked very hard until the floor was clean. She didn't have to be reminded what was expected. I didn't have to get cross. She did the job and encouraged Hannah to keep picking things up in a nice voice. Oh, how lovely is that?

It makes me feel great. Makes up for the way I left Hollie at school this morning but that is another story. I'll leave that one for tomorrow.

Thanks for stopping by.

Thursday, 2 June 2011

Here's to parents

You know being a parent is one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do. I don’t care what anybody says, it is simply hard. Staying at home all day with young children is absolutely the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It is also the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done. People often say to me, “How do you do it? How do you manage with 4 kids?” I don’t know how I do it. I do it because there isn’t any other choice. As a mother you just do what you have to do.

A friend of mine had twins recently. Now there’s someone who you can say, “How do you do it?” to.  I am totally amazed by her.  She is feeding both of them and because they are small she has had to feed them more often. She is a first time Mum. Can you imagine the shock she would have had bringing them home? Can you remember the feeling of being overwhelmed when you brought your first baby home? Can remember the advice and the feeling of failure because you weren’t doing what was expected? The conflicting advice? (And I am guilty of giving unsolicited advice too. Sorry.) The goo - ing and gaa – ing that occurred when you first had the baby only to end when you really needed someone to help, to give you 10 minutes to have a shower or an hour to have a sleep? The complete tiredness from breastfeeding.  (Those people who say breast feeding isn’t draining surely had someone else supply the milk. It’s not only the getting up during the night but the physical drain of having to produce that milk.) So tired you can’t think properly? You remember that? I’ve got no idea how my friend is doing it.  Logically I know. She’s doing because she has to but even after 4 babies I don’t know I could handle it, that I’d know what to do. It amazes me what she is doing. I don’t even think she’s given a formula bottle in desperation. She is truly wonderful. She must be so tired and so drained.  I want to tell her it’ll get better but I don’t want to lie. It gets better but then the next problem will present itself.

Motherhood involves constant learning. I just don’t seem to be able to master it. Every one of my kids are different and they have each required different responses to situations. Hannah responds well to having her face in the corner of the naughty corner whereas Hollie is punished enough by just having to sit in it. Don’t send Jessica to her room as she enjoys the time alone in her bed too much. With the end of every phase of parenthood comes the beginning of the next phase with its own challenges. It is a wonderful experience this motherhood thing but gosh it’s hard. Some days when Kevin walks through the door after a hard day of being a high school teacher, I’d give anything to be the one in the work clothes but not this week.

On Tuesday I had to take Lisa to the hospital to get her cough and wheeze checked out. She hasn’t been feeding well. Her feeds have been short and the frequency has stayed the same. She’s lost weight which is a little scary. It may just be the different scales but 1.1kgs in 2 weeks is not good. 1.1 kgs is too big a difference for it to be the scales too. They have put her on antibiotics! I’ve never had a baby on medicine before. They also said her wheeze sounds like an asthma wheeze but they won’t diagnose that until they are 3 years old. She is worse in the mornings and evenings. The cold chill makes the wheeze louder. I’m just glad it was me there with her. My poor little baby.

So here’s to Mums and Dads everywhere. I hope you are all having a wonderful week and rejoicing in your wonderful and not-so-wonderful children. Here’s hoping you have wonderful friends like me, who looked after my kids and my ring ins while I took Lisa to the hospital and who provided morning tea and lots of chatting and mother talk this morning and made everything in life seem ok. Thanks. I don’t know what I would do without the knowledge that what I'm going through is normal, what my kids are doing is normal.

Here is Hollie last week performing her shark song on parade. She was fantastic. I'm glad I'm the Mum who stays home so I'm able to attend all of her school events. I'd hate to miss it because I'm working. Poor Kevin always misses out. I'm a very lucky lady.