Thursday, 2 April 2015

Enjoying being a Mum

After working so much over the last few weeks I spent this week doing things with and for my kids. It made me feel amazing. It made me feel like I was connecting with them again. Working and having time away from your kids isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. The last few weeks have really had an impact on the kids so I’m glad I could make it up to them.
I was called into work on Monday and told them I couldn’t come in. Walking to kindy Lisa asked me if I could be the parent helper today so after changing the home readers in Hannah’s class I packed lunches for Kevin and I and headed back to kindy.
It was fabulous to see Lisa in action with her friends. It was so lovely to see the way her friends responded to her. She is such a lovely girl. She is smart and kind and so helpful to others. I was so proud to just watch her.
Kevin of course participated in all the activities. He is so ready for kindy now even with almost two years to go until he can start. He fitted in really well and the kids from pre-kindy last year already knew him and invited him to play their games and to sit with them to eat his lunch.
I tried to observe Lisa and not play with her too much. It was so much fun playing with the hoola hoops with the kids, playing in the sandpit, helping a boy make this really cool kayak and paddle, playing in home corner, making train tracks and playing with blocks.
Here are some dodgy photos taken on my phone of our little day together. I was very mindful of taking photographs of other children. I was also conscious of not having my phone out because I wanted my time to be all about Lisa. She thought it was the best thing ever that I came to her kindy for the day. I can’t wait to go again next term.

Calling Grandpuff in Geneva because that’s what normal 4 year olds do. I can’t believe she even remembered that’s where he was this week.

If you get the chance to spend a day at your kids’ kindy please do. You will love it and they will remember it for a long time.

Thursday, 5 March 2015

Sometimes OK is enough

I have had one of those mornings. You know the ones. The ones where nothing really goes wrong but nothing really goes right either. I even got up early to make the rush of the morning less stressful, to make more time to get more things done.

I’ve started doing supply teaching this year and I’ve been getting quite a bit of work. I’m thoroughly enjoying being back in the classroom. I like the interaction with the kids. I enjoy teaching and helping and I just enjoy a lunch time where I don’t have to listen to kids arguing or demanding vegemite not peanut butter. I like that I get to go to the toilet when I need to and not when it fits around my two kids who are at home during the day. I like the adult conversation at lunch time.

Monday I worked so I started the week a little behind schedule and that has had a knock on effect to the rest of the household. Hollie had a break down or two about stuffing up her viola playing and then about not getting her story draft written to a standard she thought acceptable. I had not made it a priority to sit down with her and help her with these to issues over the past few days as my priorities were elsewhere. Note that I didn’t say I don’t have time because clearly I do have time if I choose not to do something else. Everyone has time. I’m a mother of 5. I know about having time and commitments. I really felt like I had let Hollie down even though I know it is her responsibility to get these jobs done before today. Hollie went to school upset. I went on with my day upset.

Kevin was throwing a tantrum because I’d opened the can of dog food for him. He didn’t want to go to school because we’d upset him. On the way to school his shoe fell off and the tantrum started again. I didn’t have the patience for him. Again, I felt like I’d let him down.

As we were leaving for school Lisa couldn’t find her shoes. These were left in Daddy’s car yesterday when he picked up Lisa from kindy as I was at an appointment. This was a small issue but turned into a big one because she cried and I didn’t have the patience to deal with the tantrum because we were already running late to buy a new school uniform and take Hannah to the library at school so I told Lisa to get into the pram. Yes, a four year old in a pram! Our rule is you aren’t allowed to go to school with no shoes on. The librarian made Lisa cry when she made comment about Lisa’s lack of shoes because she knows our rules too. If only I’d taken the time to let her find new shoes this wouldn’t have happened. Again, I felt like I’d let her down.

After buying the uniforms and taking Hannah to the library to borrow a book I went to her classroom to see if the teacher wanted help with changing the readers because they weren’t done yesterday.  This is usually my job in Hannah’s class because no other parent does it. Yesterday I didn’t do it partly because I had to drop Hollie at her first day of the maths/science academy she was accepted into and then dropped Lisa and a friend’s daughter at kindy and partly because I was still trying to catch up on house work from being at work on Monday and I had a group of ladies coming over at 10am. I know I shouldn’t feel guilty about not changing the readers but I can’t help it. I love seeing kids learning. I love books and know how important reading is. I also know that essentially this is the actual teacher’s job but I also know it takes at least half an hour to do and I don’t know where she is going to find that time. This time not only did I feel as though I’d let Hannah down but her whole class and her teacher as well.

I know all of this is not really anything but I feel like I’m not doing anything well at the moment. I feel like I’m merely doing life OK. I’m not doing it better than OK. I’m stretched thin in all directions. When I got to playgroup all tired and worn out I just cried. I didn’t want to cry in front of my friends but I just felt like I was doing a terrible job of everything. After a hug from my friend I felt a lot better though. We are all Mums and we all have bad days/bad weeks. When I got home I text my husband and told him I needed a hug. When I told him what the matter was (that I felt like I was doing life OK not great. I wasn’t being a great Mum I was being an OK Mum. I wasn’t being a great housewife I was being on OK one. I wasn’t being a great worker I was being an OK one) he told me being OK is OK. That’s why it’s called OK. He made me laugh and I know he is right. I can’t be amazing all the time. Sometimes OK is enough. Tomorrow will be a better day. I hope.