We are still deciding, no I think we have decided, to have another baby. Yes, that means throwing up again for 18 weeks, sleepless nights during the pregnancy, 2-3 hourly feeds for 4-6 weeks, complete and utter exhaustion, teething and everything else that comes with having a baby. If you're a mother you'll know what I'm talking about. If you aren't, you think you understand but really you have no idea. So with all of that, why would I think having another baby is worth it?
A life of joy with the new baby and watching them grow up. You can't actually put it into words. There aren't enough mushy words to describe how it feels to be a mother. I used to think I didn't have enough room in my heart to love more than one but the more I've had the more my heart has grown and the more love I have in it. My children are just amazing. Sure they drive me nuts and I feel like running away sometimes. Who doesn't? I am still learning how to be a mum. These kids challenge me every day. They test my patience. They make me wonder what I'm doing. They smile and look up for a cuddle and everything seems ok. I hear them tell their friends how wonderful their Daddy is and my heart melts. I just love being a mum. I don't think I'll ever do anything as important as be their mum. No. I know I won't. I know that it is what I'm meant to do. I know I am good at it. Usually I'm good at it. They have taught me so much about the world and about myself. I can't imagine what my life would be like without them. I am truly blessed.
So yes, I will go again. 9 months is exceptionally short in a lifetime of joy and happiness. And this time, my last time, I will savour every moment.