Thursday, 26 May 2011

Who wants to be a parent?

I have been feeling very overwhelmed all day. All week and probably for a little longer to be honest. I feel as though I'm constantly chasing my tail. My house looks like a bomb site CONSTANTLY, I'm cranky, I'm tired and I feel as though there is no time for me. I know I'm a Mum. I know this is my life at the moment but is there an end?
I swore at the washing machine today and then realised how irrational I was being and cried. Admittedly I did feel better after I'd cried a little but I didn't have time to cry either because I had to get Jessica to kindy and Hollie and the girls from next door to school. I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know why it's all become too much all of a sudden.
The ladies at playgroup were quite shocked by my attitude today because I was obviously not coping with life all that well this morning. I think I usually have everything under control and this week or these last few weeks everything has become a bit much and they noticed. One of the suggestions was my lack of exercise. I had a Lletz procedure done last week and the gyno said no exercise for a month. I think he was being a little over cautious but I don't want to be out of action for longer because of my stupidity in over doing it too. Having got into the swing of exercise it's really difficult not to exercise. I also know I operate a lot better if I am able to have some time to myself every day before the family gets up and in my face as children usually do in the mornings when they are demanding breakfast and there is the hustle and bustle of getting everyone ready for school and kindy. I haven't had that time for over a week now. Maybe the ladies have a point.

During some down time today I read this post and decided it is kind of ok my house looks horrible. My kids have a lovely life. We have lots of laughs and cuddles and so many good times together. That's truly a positive.
I mean look at this photo. Cheesy grin I know but she was having fun with me out in our yard one afternoon recently. This makes it all ok.

But then you get this.
Hannah pulling every item of clothing out of her cupboard. No point ironing her clothes. Look at all the wasted time I spent ironing that pile of mess.

And the fights we have to have to get her to sleep in clothes in winter for her to just take them off again when she gets to bed.

Then this. Isn't that the cutest little Lions girl you ever did see?

And this is why we have so many dramas with Hannah. She is one cheeky little monkey. Don't you just love that grin?

Then you get the firsts like this.
Hollie's first athletics carnival. She hasn't quite mastered her mother's running style. She came last in this sprint. She spent the first half of the race looking around at all her friends. 2nd last for the youngest kid at school. I'm so proud of her though. She had a heap of fun too.
Then came the ball games.
 So much fun.
Then came the high jump. Not really following in my footsteps but that's ok. Look at her face. Pure joy. That's what I want to see.

So there is joy in this thing called parenting. It's just that sometimes it's a little hard to remember the good. A simple look through the photos on the computer will always help.