What you shouldn’t do when toilet training

Now you think I would know how to do it after training 4 kids. You would think after lecturing people, yes I do believe I lecture people in regard to toilet training, I would know what not to do. Well, I’m here to tell you with baby number 5 I have broken almost every one of my toilet training rules.

I had a friend today say I shouldn’t be so hard on myself. I should be ok with the fact that at almost 2 he’s going to the toilet at home. Oh, believe me I am very happy about that. I’m not happy that I am too scared this time to let him go without nappies to the shops, playgroup, friends’ houses, in the car, anywhere. Why is that?

Since forever I have lectured my friends and their friends and told them, “Don’t put them back in nappies. You just send them backwards.” I know. I’ve seen it in my friend’s kids. I know what I’m doing is stupid and has long term consequences. I know it is only prolonging the whole terrible experience that is toilet training. Trust me. I KNOW.

I’ve had kids wee in their sibling’s classroom. I’ve had wee on the floor in the supermarket. I’ve had accidents on carpets at playgroup and on the couch at home. I’ve had wee in the carseat and the pram. I’ve dealt with this for basically 5.5 years. What is wrong with me this time?

My friend today said, “It’s not like he’s going to go to kindy wearing a nappy.” I know. I know I shouldn’t let this get to me. I guess it will eat away at me until I can finally bite the bullet and do this properly. The way I have told everyone else to toilet train their kids.  I also know without a doubt this is my problem and not his. I know he is capable of going in public without wetting and I know even if he does it’s not the end of the world. I know the problem. I’m lazy.

This has been my whole argument over the years regarding other people not toilet training their kids early like I have. It comes down to what’s important and right now it is not important enough for me to make him go to the toilet in public and deal with the accidents so I’m being lazy. Yes, I’m being lazy. I know I am and it is not something I like to associate with myself. I am being lazy because I know he can do it. He’s been going to the toilet or potty for more than 6 months now. I guess I have to get myself in the mindset to toilet train him for the public.

Realisations.

Ever wondered whether you married the right person? This week I've attended the Stampin' Up! convention. I've travelled by train each morning to the convention centre in Brisbane and I've watched these mothers rush to work (I've overheard them talk of their children because essentially I'm a sticky beak) and I've felt very blessed to be able to be the one who stays home with the kids and have a husband who actually wants this lifestyle for his family.
I have realised how tough these women have it. On the first morning of the convention I left home at 6:50am and didn't get home until 7pm. The kids were already in bed when I got home. I'd seen them briefly in the morning before I left. That was really tough for me. I missed them so much. Don't get me wrong, I had a wonderfully inspiring and fun time at convention and I didn't think of them that often but it broke my heart to see so little of them all day and I wonder how hard it is for working mothers to only see their kids at those horribly rushed times of the day.
I am fortunate we bought a house which we could afford to pay off on one wage. I don't have to work unless I want to or it fits in with the lifestyle we want for our family.
Kevin and I are massively different. Gosh, who knew. We are polar opposites in so many ways but when it comes to what we want for our family and what we believe is best for them we are so similar. I married someone with my family belief system and I am truly grateful for that. I know I married the right man for me. My heart still swells and skips a beat when I see him and didn't expect to.
For everything you have done for us this week, my love, I am grateful. For what you do day in day out to support our family I am eternally grateful. I'm glad it is you who leaves the house each day to miss out on the kids lives and earn the money. Thank you.