Sometimes OK is enough

I have had one of those mornings. You know the ones. The ones where nothing really goes wrong but nothing really goes right either. I even got up early to make the rush of the morning less stressful, to make more time to get more things done.

I’ve started doing supply teaching this year and I’ve been getting quite a bit of work. I’m thoroughly enjoying being back in the classroom. I like the interaction with the kids. I enjoy teaching and helping and I just enjoy a lunch time where I don’t have to listen to kids arguing or demanding vegemite not peanut butter. I like that I get to go to the toilet when I need to and not when it fits around my two kids who are at home during the day. I like the adult conversation at lunch time.

Monday I worked so I started the week a little behind schedule and that has had a knock on effect to the rest of the household. Hollie had a break down or two about stuffing up her viola playing and then about not getting her story draft written to a standard she thought acceptable. I had not made it a priority to sit down with her and help her with these to issues over the past few days as my priorities were elsewhere. Note that I didn’t say I don’t have time because clearly I do have time if I choose not to do something else. Everyone has time. I’m a mother of 5. I know about having time and commitments. I really felt like I had let Hollie down even though I know it is her responsibility to get these jobs done before today. Hollie went to school upset. I went on with my day upset.

Kevin was throwing a tantrum because I’d opened the can of dog food for him. He didn’t want to go to school because we’d upset him. On the way to school his shoe fell off and the tantrum started again. I didn’t have the patience for him. Again, I felt like I’d let him down.

As we were leaving for school Lisa couldn’t find her shoes. These were left in Daddy’s car yesterday when he picked up Lisa from kindy as I was at an appointment. This was a small issue but turned into a big one because she cried and I didn’t have the patience to deal with the tantrum because we were already running late to buy a new school uniform and take Hannah to the library at school so I told Lisa to get into the pram. Yes, a four year old in a pram! Our rule is you aren’t allowed to go to school with no shoes on. The librarian made Lisa cry when she made comment about Lisa’s lack of shoes because she knows our rules too. If only I’d taken the time to let her find new shoes this wouldn’t have happened. Again, I felt like I’d let her down.

After buying the uniforms and taking Hannah to the library to borrow a book I went to her classroom to see if the teacher wanted help with changing the readers because they weren’t done yesterday.  This is usually my job in Hannah’s class because no other parent does it. Yesterday I didn’t do it partly because I had to drop Hollie at her first day of the maths/science academy she was accepted into and then dropped Lisa and a friend’s daughter at kindy and partly because I was still trying to catch up on house work from being at work on Monday and I had a group of ladies coming over at 10am. I know I shouldn’t feel guilty about not changing the readers but I can’t help it. I love seeing kids learning. I love books and know how important reading is. I also know that essentially this is the actual teacher’s job but I also know it takes at least half an hour to do and I don’t know where she is going to find that time. This time not only did I feel as though I’d let Hannah down but her whole class and her teacher as well.


I know all of this is not really anything but I feel like I’m not doing anything well at the moment. I feel like I’m merely doing life OK. I’m not doing it better than OK. I’m stretched thin in all directions. When I got to playgroup all tired and worn out I just cried. I didn’t want to cry in front of my friends but I just felt like I was doing a terrible job of everything. After a hug from my friend I felt a lot better though. We are all Mums and we all have bad days/bad weeks. When I got home I text my husband and told him I needed a hug. When I told him what the matter was (that I felt like I was doing life OK not great. I wasn’t being a great Mum I was being an OK Mum. I wasn’t being a great housewife I was being on OK one. I wasn’t being a great worker I was being an OK one) he told me being OK is OK. That’s why it’s called OK. He made me laugh and I know he is right. I can’t be amazing all the time. Sometimes OK is enough. Tomorrow will be a better day. I hope.

Gifted children

We have thought for a while our lovely little Jessica is a gifted child. She has spoken well from a very young age, speaking in full sentences since she was 18 months old and singing nursery rhymes from an even earlier age. Last term we attended Jessica's prep interview.  We have been tossing up the idea of early entry to year 1 for a while now but the cost of the tests and the process seemed a little too much for us considering it isn't up to the school to approve the early entry but the district director who will never actually meet her. I took a school library book of Hollie's the interview and Jessica read it while we waited. Hollie, year 1, borrows from the year 3 section of the library at her teacher's request. The deputy principal doing the interview wasn't so impressed with a nearly 5 year old reading at an 8 year old level as it is quite common for girls especially to read early but she was impressed when we showed her Jessica's writing and spelling. She sat up and was visibly shocked by what she saw. Couple her literacy level with her numeracy levels there is no way she will cope with prep. She will be bored out of her brains. The deputy was the one who suggested we do an early entry. We didn't have to say anything. I didn't want to be one of those parents marching in there and telling the school how amazing my kid was.

This is Jessica's story about going to the football in May. At the time she was 3& 1/2 months shy of 5. I had to help her spell Giants and fence. She did the rest herself. She even remembers the colours of the seats we sat in.

I know almost every parent thinks their kid is very bright or skilled with a particular thing. I have many friends who insist their kids are very bright, above average, gifted even. When I look at Jessica who was reading Hollie's prep readers when she was 3 and reading them with the top readers in prep I know Jessica is gifted. This was confirmed last week when the school's Guidance Officer did an intelligence test on Jessica to support our application to early entry to year 1. Jessica was tested and came out as having "Superior intelligence" as her results were in the 95 percentile which means only 5% of children her age are smarter than her. 

Then I think about Hannah who is 3.5 years old and created her own perfectly stamped and punched birthday card for her cousin and wrote the entire card by herself and I wonder about Hannah too. Hannah's card to Gemma read, "To Gemma love and hugs Hannah" which she needed help spelling "love" and "hugs" but was able to work out the letters when I sounded them out except the e on love. She was most proud that she could now write a G all by herself. I have not taught her to write. I have written a lot with her, labelling pictures, writing on the fridge, just general mum stuff. We have read a lot and she picks up words all the time. Tonight we had a book that had "we" on every page and by the end she knew which word was we. I'll see if she remembers it tomorrow. She is so curious about writing and reading and spelling at the moment that we just explore together. I don't teach her. I don't think I do anything special with them. I give them my time. We share and have fun together (most of the time, I'm not a perfect Mum- far from it. Yes, I yell at my kids, I'm not angel.) The children have learnt through example, time and exposure. Maybe this is what mums did in a previous era. Is it possible that the time I spend with them and not the money I spend on gadgets or educational toys that has made the difference? I really don't know. What I do know though is they have a love of learning. Hopefully I can continue to foster that in them and they carry that into their adult lives.

This story is amazing to me because at 5 she knew the difference between slid and slide all by herself. 

Hopefully we'll find out at the end of this week whether the district director has approved the application. I know that if he doesn't she is going to be a huge strain on the teachers next year. I think even if she is advanced her teachers will have to modify their work to be able to cater for her ability. It will be just the same as having a child with a disability in the classroom. Let's hope there is someone else of similar ability to be able to work with her.

Jessica's last few days

On Monday we had a bit of a terrible day with Jessica. It was the Queen's Birthday long weekend here so Kevin was home to make the girls' breakfasts. As a treat on the weekend Kevin will colour the porridge for the girls. He grabbed a different container of food dye on Monday. We paid for it later in the afternoon.

Jessica as a 20 month old had a reaction to strawberry milks and on Monday we had a repeat of those reactions. Our poor little girl was possessed. That's what it seemed like. She was crying uncontrollably, rubbing her feet together, hitting the ground, screaming, kicking the floor. This went on for almost 3 hours in total. This is totally unlike Jessica. I was so distressed. My heart was aching. What it is about being a Mum that you just can't turn off, that you feel that pain? I was on the verge of tears. I couldn't take it anymore. Kevin went to the pantry and looked at the ingredients in the two different food colouring containers. We will be steering clear of colouring 122 from now on. Kevin threw the contents down the sink. Meanwhile Jessica had fallen asleep in the position below, just like the last time she had this reaction. My poor, poor little girl.

Sometimes motherhood can be so challenging. What am I talking about? It is ALWAYS challenging. Challenging but also the most rewarding and meaningful thing I'll ever do. How wonderful is Jessica? This morning when I said I needed to vacuum the floor - with my silly, dodgy, still unfixed vacuum cleaner- I asked Jessica and Hannah to clean the lounge room floor. Jessica worked very hard until the floor was clean. She didn't have to be reminded what was expected. I didn't have to get cross. She did the job and encouraged Hannah to keep picking things up in a nice voice. Oh, how lovely is that?

It makes me feel great. Makes up for the way I left Hollie at school this morning but that is another story. I'll leave that one for tomorrow.

Thanks for stopping by.